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[30 Mar 2006|07:35pm] |
i need to blame someone.
and im not blaming me.
this is all your fault
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[17 May 2005|01:37am] |
i think i should come back to you my lovely deadjournal, you seem so much more appropriate for some reason.
i currently feel about 14 and hate everyone.
and i can't sleep.
great.
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[22 Dec 2004|10:43pm] |
The University of Blogging
Presents to
DizzyAngel
An Honorary
Bachelor of
Anonymous Commenting
Majoring in
Self Deprication
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Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com
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[07 Dec 2004|12:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tbs- theres no i in team |
] |
errr trying to update n stupid things keep redirecting me, so i loose my entry, this is why im getting so stressed it may seem pathetic, even to myself, but my computer is so much of my life and when it doesnt work properly nor do i, its like ET and elliot :(
ive missed my deadjournal, i have been paying more attention to livejournal coz all the communites seem to be over there, but this journal has so many memories for me, dont think i can abandon it.
im so irrational at the mo, im not functioning like a normal person, i really think i am psychologically inequipt to deal with education, it just has to many negative assoociations for me it totally fucks with my head even tho i so wanna do this course i just dont think ill get thru it. people say live in the moment and i do and thats the problem, i cant see past the moment and its depressing so the moment is depressing causing me to be depressed which sucks something awful rite now.
i hate this time of year i really do, never more is there a time when id feel happy dead or even just locked up devoid of any responsibility or commitment to anything or anyone.
i have a fuckign test tomorrow and ive not even revised, thats what im meant to be doing now but i cant whioch is fucked coz usually i am able to revise its essays i cant do, i just feel like im gonna fuck up this first year and not even get thru to year two. this test is 40% of our grade for lens and sound craft and i dunno how i did on the second half so if i fuck this then i could well and truely be screwed, i know i fucked up the two essays coz they were all done in a nite, and i dont even wanna think about revision for the other exam.
meh, stuff sucks, and i feel like i should de-age and be like 15 again or something coz then maybe feeling like this would make more sense. but whatever
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[14 Nov 2004|07:58pm] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the used- bulimic |
] |
ive been drunk for three days, its really rather strange. fuck stupid un grateful cunts they need to stay the fuck outta my face....
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| uni |
[04 Oct 2004|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Glassjaw- two tabs of mescaline |
] |
started uni last week and so far its been pretty random, but i havent felt very sociable the last week or so so i have to make a concious effort to be nice to ppl, which is tiring, tho they are are really nice so i dont know why it feels like such an effort for me.
we have to write screen plays but i cant even write a poem at the moment, guess im gonna have to put in a lotta work, some thing i dont think i was fully comprehending before i started.
this song is giving me chills this album is giving me chills glassjaw is giving me chills
i want to buy some new clothes, i am im serious need of retail therapy, the kind that leaves you blacklisted
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[24 Sep 2004|12:14pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ffaf dvd |
] |
eeeppp i start uni on monday, i dont want to now im in a lazy stage i dont want to learn:( plus i have to start the day after my bday so i cant go and get mashed sunday nite
i got the ffaf dvd on monday, tis sososo good, left me with the giggles tho
and im pissed now coz i thought id have time to watch a film 2mro b4 work and i dont :( not pleased
You are Donnie Darko! You are confused and mentally
unstable but you are a truly great guy who just
wants to love, be loved, and not die alone.
"I promise one day everything will be
better for you."
Which Donnie Darko Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[17 Sep 2004|03:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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when reason sleeps- complete guide...... |
] |
huummmm i wanna go out:( dont wanna be home today i have lots of energy
naia n dhani r back in london so we went out in camden yesterday and im not sure how i got so drunk.
ffaf dvd comes out on monday woooohh, n tis my bday soon yyaaaayyy and i will soon be starting uni :( not so looking forward to it as i was before but i guess it beats working all day in a skanky cinema
oohhh went to birmingham with fay to see MCR, twas fucking ex, yourcodenameis:milo were there to and were tres good, and the other support whos name was something lik 'death 1979'or something were also amazing, i so need to go to more good gigs
You are a Punk Boy Kiss! You met your cutie at that
concert last week... Instead of bringin home
some CDs and a shirt... you brought home him!
What kind of Hot Boy Kiss are you??
brought to you by Quizilla
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| blah |
[10 Sep 2004|03:49am] |
bitter tears,
tar from cracked eyes,
leaking sour shades of smiles,
cracked by screams once internalized.
driven mad by pointless words
from brain to ears,
self indulged lies.
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| wow |
[07 Sep 2004|01:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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turtle power |
] |
george held the door open for me today and not a 'your standing right behind me so i'll hold open the door' but an 'ill wait a minute while you walk half way down the corridor' hold open the door, i was deeply touched, i felt tears, whoever knew holding open a door could make someone seem so much more adorable :)
oh and i downloaded turtle power, what a cHoon! :) made my day complete :)
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| poem |
[05 Sep 2004|01:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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when reason sleeps |
] |
ok so roxx set a poem challenge in the group to write a peom about jealousy, this is what i came up with, wasnt 100% happy with it but anyways....
i claw it into my skin
these marks will stay with me
burning to let it out
to take away these troubled tears
lock up my heart and soul with chains
and strive towards a calm
try to stop the way
i think of you
pushed it away to avoid the pain
my viens of razor blood
lead to wounds forever new
made certain by the fact
thats i see it in your eyes
and i hear it in your smile
you dont regret a single thing
im spiraling down as you rise
my blood has come to boil
i shoot fatal stares as we pass
and pray that looks can kill.
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[18 Aug 2004|02:36am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
] |
woohoo, my spirited away dvd n my glass jaw cd came :) am so happy *runs around waving arms estaticly*
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[16 Aug 2004|09:53pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
| Freudian Inventory Results | Genital (36%) you appear to have a pessimistic and regressive outlook on life.
Latency (70%) you may be using learning as an escape from living.
Phallic (40%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Anal (43%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity.
Oral (50%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence.
| Take Free Freudian Inventory Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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[14 Aug 2004|01:08am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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dunno, some rock sound cd |
] |
was woken up about three times today before i actually got up, and oh sweet jesus ive just realised my never ending headache seems too be gone, woohoo, um so yeah got up, went to chims, ate too much junk food and am now eating a jar of peanut butter, errrr she always brings out my sweet tooth. oh and chim reckons mike from lp's looks like a scottish crack head, hehehe, well she has had those one day contacts in for about three months so i can forgive her
....am quite bored, so gonna search for sum quizzez to pass the time
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| my head hurts |
[13 Aug 2004|12:05am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tears for fears- head over heals |
] |
uuurrrggghhhh my head had been hurting for about 7 hours now and is only just starting to let up.
im so totally bored and i have another 2 days off, oohhh what to do what to do, uuummm i know ill sit on my fucking ass all day long:( no guess ill get out the old slr n start taking some pics again.
errg n im gonna have to wear my glasses now to coz my contacts are fucked and try to jump outta my eyes
 Hot hot! I am Curry Flavoured.</b>
I have a spicy personality. If you can take the heat, you'll love me, if not, I'll probably make you cry. I am not for the faint-hearted. What Flavour Are You?
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meh.. what cak.
Take the test, by Emily.
meh quizzes arent fun anymore
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| meh..... |
[12 Aug 2004|03:21am] |
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mood |
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 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Lostprophets- we still kill.... |
] |
dunno why the hell im writing in this and live journal, guess i just like having two, well whatever.
how the fuck can it still be so hot when its not even sunny anymore, this house is cursed with the heat of hell i tell you.
and i cant fucking sleep, thought i mite have sorted my late niteness by going to bed an so early the other day, coz woz extremely tired, but fuck its nearly half three n im so awake, grrrr
ok sum cuteness, this pic is adorable
huuummm guess im gonna try n sleep, or maybe ill write, huumm think i should use livejounal for my poems n here for all other shit, hum prolly wont stick to that but oh well whatever
~~*My Livejournal*~~
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[11 Aug 2004|07:53pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
] |
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music |
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Billy talent- living in the shadows |
] |
err wasted an hour and a half of my life today trying to find a fucking magazine that all the retarded shops round here have decided not to get, even the fuckers who had it last month err so annoyed as i feel like shit n have had a shit day basically
anyways... a recent poem
Untitled
you think your thirsty but your not sure
think you'll die if you dont start breathing again
your heart is running out of the door
you cant think straight
so you star drinking again
make it just far enough then you fall
behind closed doors no one will see your tears
you often wonder what your here for
you doubt the reasons something you'll want to hear
its not enough that you try to smile
need to feel numb
that way you can survive
fear and confusion dictates your life
and the emptiness burns deep in your eyes
You're Element is Night. You're a loner who is very
creative but never show your work to anyone.
You may smile a little but sadness or
loneliness surround you and other can feel it
when they're near you. You have a dark or
unusual beauty that makes you mysterious and
you probably have a lot of secrets that you've
never told anyone. You're beauty is intriging
and unorthidox but the real thing that makes
you special is your eyes. Something in them
makes them like Diamonds in the Rough.
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla
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[10 Aug 2004|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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when reason sleeps-guns nuns and sunsets |
] |
woohoo got my coach to birmingham for a fiver, nice! cheap and chearfull is d way to go. am now trying to convince ppl to come to the kerrange thing at virgin wiv me, dunno how actually will come tho, will not hold my breath
oohh its been so nice and hot but that means that the fucking bluetak on my walls are fucking mealting, and also im being slowly cooked alive by the tight arses at UGC who wont cought up for a new air con system that works, they fucking need to seeing as the building is literally a green house, fuckers.
ordered my spirited away dvd, hurry up and arrive, bitch, i have none to minus none in patience!
i, robot ws tres tres bon, some kick ass robot action
I adopted a cute lil' gothy fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' dragon fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' September birthstone fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' giraffe fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
ok so i got a little carried away with the foetus adopting....
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[29 Jul 2004|05:24am] |
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mood |
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hot |
] |
huh... ive not been out but its nearly half 5 and im only jus goin 2 sleep. culd be a sign of a sleep disorder, n doubt ill get 2 sleep 4 a while now coz d fucking sun is up already, stoopid early riser
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